Today’s Word from Trinity Keyboardist Sheila Weidendorf…
My true north in the world of performing arts is classical chamber music – it’s what I predominantly perform in my professional pianist life and what lives in the center of my musical heart. Having said that, it is also true that I am a woman of many moods – the many moods and modalities of music included. Truly, there’s precious little music that I do not appreciate or enjoy. For what is music? The song of the celestial spheres spinning in the firmament of the heavens, the resonant core of the universe, an orderly exploration of organized time and sound frequency. It is a meditation, a revelry, a mystical arising of the voice of the Holy, a celebration, a cultural revelation, an inner reverberation…. Need I go on?
In my many and varied musical explorations throughout my life, it just so happens that I have somewhat regularly found myself the musical director of musical theater productions – quite by accident, actually, though that is another story. But no matter how my commitments lean in my performance life, there IS one musical that perpetually shares space in my heart, right alongside Brahms and Debussy and Bach and Milhoud… and that is the genius Andrew Lloyd Weber rock opera (a musical but with NO speech – all is music), “Jesus Christ Superstar” (specifically, the 1973 film version). Truth be told, I am a diehard 1973 JCSS SuperFan.
Jesus Christ Superstar is, perhaps strangely, my “line in the sand” work. The music is sheer and utter genius, as are the lyrics by Tim Rice. The music is alternatingly tender, penetratingly poignant, provocative, agitating, soaring, meditative, alarming, sublime… all the things that life here on earth is for we mortals. But then there’s the theology! Who knew a rock opera could deliver the Great Mysterion of the Divine revealed in the human, the holy in the ordinary in such a way?!? (Have you seen the social media memes of a man at a folding table in a public space with a sign stating some firm stance inviting those who disagree to “convince him”? That’s me, with JCSS. Don’t think it’s sheer theological and musical genius? Come a little closer and let’s talk…)
Neither time nor space nor, quite possibly, the reader’s personal or devotional patience allows me to fully delve into the heart of this production here, so I want to cut right to today’s chase: Judas – Judas Iscariot, essentially the bookkeeper of Jesus’ band of “fishermen.” The right-hand “Christ & Co.” Operations Manager tending the practicalities of desert life for this small “fringe” religious group known for helping the poor alongside Jesus. While Jesus the mystic healer and teacher was working miracles out of his great, compassionate, God-revealed heart, Judas the practical man tended daily details in service to his Lord. Like the other disciples he had been drawn to Jesus’ side, leaving his regular life behind to bask in this unexpected and not-entirely-understood energy of GodSelf walking the earth like any other human.
And Judas loved Jesus. But when Jesus’ followers grew in numbers, so did the attentions of the Hebrew establishment. After all, they were an occupied people. Rome allowed the Hebrew elite to carry on with their lifestyle and structures of power so long as it didn’t interfere with the “giving unto Caesar what was Caesar’s.” But along comes yet another messianic cult, another notable teacher causing a stir on the liminal edges of Hebrew society. This time, however, it couldn’t be overlooked by the power structures. And so, Jesus was ultimately brought to task. (You already know how this story ends. Or doesn’t…)
So back to Judas. Judas is troubled. He knows that their movement will be summarily crushed if they continue to cause a stir. He becomes alarmed at the talk of Jesus being God and knows it’s just a matter of time before they are – at best – disbanded or, more likely – killed for what was considered a rather great theological and political insurrection. What to do? Of course, we all know that Judas “betrays Jesus to the guards of the Sadducees which puts in motion everything leading to Jesus’ crucifixion.
One thing I love about Judas’ portrayal in Jesus Christ Superstar is that we see that there just might be more to the story – and isn’t there ALWAYS more to every story? In the Lloyd Weber/Rice production, Judas is not a greedy turncoat. He is, in effect, another agent of God’s wisdom. Let me say that again. Judas is another agent of the revealed wisdom of God.
Judas did not go to the Sadducees out of spite, but to do damage control before everything got so far “out of hand” that they would all come to a bitter end, crushed under the weight of the structures of power. He was naïve – not realizing what would happen to his beloved Master – and not yet able to be aware of the extent of the power of Love and Truth made manifest in Jesus. And, how could he? Such a power and love had not been experienced before in all of Judea! In the garden scene, when Judas offers Jesus the “kiss of betrayal,” there is a confrontation. In effect, Judas tells Jesus – isn’t this what you wanted? To do God’s bidding? (Not understanding that it meant a certain and tortuous death for Jesus! And how could such a death take place if everyone does not serve their own role in the ‘pageant play.’)
Of course… the story unfolds and, later, Judas realizes that there was, indeed, more to the story. That his part was a horribly essential one in carrying out those “orders from headquarters.” No death = no resurrection. Upon realizing that he had unwittingly played a fundamentally necessary part in Jesus’ sacrifice, we see Judas’ facing himself and his God and, under the weight of this revelation, he kills himself. It is a terrible, remorseful act of a person crushed by the dawning of realization of the implications of the fact and fiber of his own life, and of all that he had not previously understood.
I love this Judas. He is all of us. He is incomplete, uncertain, unable to understand the magnitude of something previously unimaginable. He is his own worst enemy. He is so fundamentally human – trying to do what he thinks is right according to the paradigm of what he knew to be true in the past, thus unable to completely open to a new truth being revealed in the present. Who among us has magically avoided this pitfall?!?!?
Further, are our very lives not also populated with people living out their own impediments? And how should we respond to such as this – whether with those around us or when facing our own self-appointed obstacles? With condemnation? Judgment? Or with compassion? If we are on a journey to any enlightened, God-revealed expansion of our Selves; if we are to take up the Consciousness of Christ, we must begin that journey right where we are, with all of our imperfections and lack of understanding and niggling doubts and fears. We must accept that yes, here we are. And with love in our hearts, we can carry onward, ever onward toward God, loving each other and even ourselves through all of our lumps and bumps and inadequacies and poor decisions and all the rest.
There is ALWAYS more to each and every story, but no story is “wrong” if we listen with love.
Below are two links. The second is to the full playlist of the 1973 JCSS film soundtrack in all its gloriousness. The first is Judas’ musical soliloquy when he realizes what he has done and what is to happen. Please do listen. And remember – I’m just a pianist with a personal penchant for theological pondering… and music.
Sheila Weidendorf
(Judas here is played by the late, great Carl Anderson)
