Today’s Word from Pastor Jim…
For the better part of 50 years Steve Martin has tickled our funny bones on stage and screen. Martin became our favorite “Wild and Crazy Guy” as he entertained millions with a unique combination of music, dance, and slapstick. His movie roles touched our hearts while giving us a brief vacation from everyday life. Very few entertainers in our lifetime have enjoyed the staying power of Steve Martin. Martin was and is beloved by generations of fans.
At home, it was not so simple. In a recent Apple TV documentary Martin reflected upon his relationship with father and his father’s disdain for his career choices saying, “I always thought my father was a little embarrassed by me. He couldn’t quite be proud of an unconventional showbiz act that he didn’t quite understand.”
Relationships between parents and children tend to be complicated. The magic and mystery begin with a borning cry. Quite suddenly, our hearts are taken over by love. We are not sure how this works, how a helpless seven-pound bundle from heaven captivates us. We don’t love others less; there is simply a whole new supply of love. We love our children and grandchildren, and that love makes us very vulnerable. Over a period of years, we need to make an uncertain and sometimes painful transition. Ideally a child will move from total dependence to independence, or at least a perceived independence.
Martin Luther, the great Protestant reformer, was born on November 10, 1483, in Eisleben, Germany. His parents Margarethe and Hans worked very hard to care for their family and to provide some security in the closing years of Europe’s “dark ages.” Hans was an ambitious man, and he had plans for his firstborn son. He made every sacrifice necessary to assure that his son would have a better life than his own, paving the way for young Martin Luther to be a lawyer. Hans sent his son to Latin School where he would study grammar, rhetoric and logic. In 1501 Martin enrolled at the University of Erfurt. He earned his master’s degree in 1505 and was off to Law School. Everything was going according to Han’s plan, until it wasn’t.
Martin Luther sensed a call from God to the Priesthood and dropped out of Law School. His father was furious over what he saw as a waste of Luther’s education. His father would never really understand this perceived betrayal. The tale of two Martins, one who changed the world, and one who became wildly successful entertaining the world. Two Martins whose life choices bewildered their fathers.
Change is constant and can be hard to understand. The world and American culture have changed drastically. The internet, social media, and the pandemic have disrupted the life that many of us had known; the cultural landscape of today is mostly unrecognizable to the children of the 1950’s or 60’s. Our children and grandchildren must find their way, it is our job to love them and encourage them as they do so. If we reflect upon our own journeys to maturity, I am guessing that many of our choices were bewildering to our parents.
46 years ago, the songwriter Billy Joel put it this way:
“I don’t need you to worry for me ’cause I’m alright,
I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home,
I don’t care what you say anymore this is my life,
Go ahead with your own life leave me alone.”
Each generation must find their own way. When your children or grandchildren change their names, their pronouns, or their gender identification you don’t really need to understand or approve, you just need to love them. They are after all, a slightly larger version of the seven pounds of flesh that stole your heart all those years ago. When your children or grandchildren come out of the closet or announce their career as a gamer or TicTok influencer, just remember the tale of two Martins. In the end, we only have two choices: Love them or lose them. Love them or lose them, it is that simple.
Living in the midst of a shifting culture is not easy. Parents today join the choir of previous generations. Their exasperated cry endures; “Kids today.” Love them or lose them. It is not easy, but it is just that simple.
One beggar, telling another beggar where to find bread, I am your,
Pastor Jim
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