I quit writing three years ago. I didn’t think much about it at the time but since I had lost my journal there existed an easy excuse. I journaled through Brenda’s six-month battle with cancer. With both her battle and my journal lost there was little motivation to write. So I didn’t.
“And we know that in all things God works
for the good of those who love him, who
have been called according to his purpose.”
Rom. 8:28
Now, three years later Lyra, the dog we rescued as Brenda was being diagnosed, has the same diagnosis. Cancer, sometimes it feels as much as a metaphor as it does a disease. This sweet animal which helped love Brenda to death, that has been my grief companion, now carries the same fate. Dammit. Makes me more than just a little bit angry.
All of which has served to remind me why writing served such an important role in my life. It was how I prayed. Journaling was my prayer life. It reminded me on a daily basis of what it means to love God. Paul’s words of promise are important when it comes to navigating life. “In all things” God will work for our good as a consequence of our loving God. God doesn’t change all things, but God will in all circumstances work for our good. Loving God is the key.
For me, writing was the experience that kept me grounded in my life with Christ. I never stopped loving God but without the exercise of pen to paper I experienced a slow drift. Lyra’s diagnosis has jarred me back to a cornerstone of my life of faith.
“All behavior serves a function”. It’s an important mantra when it comes to the role of a counselor. People do what they do because it serves a function in their life. If it didn’t serve a function in their life they would in all probability stop the behavior. One of the paradoxical gifts of Lyra’s diagnosis is the present tense. That is, the past or the future tense give way to the present tense. My tendency to get lost revisiting the past or fantasizing about the future mean nothing as compared to being fully present today. Today I can give thanks for the company of a loving pet and feel blessed in the simple act of loving God. That is enough, for now.
This is my life. God is working for the good in all of our lives. I remember in seminary a fellow student, a Roman Catholic nun, summed the life of faith as, “Love God and do what you want”. There is much to plumb in those words. Pen and paper will help.
God’s peace to you,
Pastor Tom
pastortomkidd@gmail.com
